What I've Learned from Country Music.

I am an avid country music listener.  I've grown up on it.  I find it easy to relate to.  I just love it.  That's all you need to know.  Anyway, you can learn many things from many places.  Here are a few things that I have learned from country music. (Playlist of songs thought of at the bottom)

1)  Pretty much anything can be solved by drinking.
Wife's mad at you?  Go to the bar and drink.  Husband left?  Go to the bar and drink.  Broke?  Get someone to buy you beer.  Wanna have a good time with your friends?  Go drink!  I mean, I know that most types of music talk about alcohol just as much, but seriously.  Picture a redneck in your head.  They're holding a beer aren't they?  Thought so.  

2)  The bigger the truck, the more likely you are yo get laid.
It's got to be big, loud, and not afraid to get a little dirty.  That's right, muddin'!  It's got to be able the take the mud, haul deer, cart fish, and all that good stuff.  It doesn't have to be brand new, it'll still get the job done.  The bigger, the better!!  Shoot, if you're the right kind of pick up man, you might just meet all your wives in traffic jams.  That, my friends, is classy.

3)  Men are liars... But girls lie too.
Because we don't go to Hooters for their wings.  Who are you kidding.  Girls like to look at boobies too.  *ahem* Anyway.  It doesn't matter what the subject is, men and women are going to lie about it.  "Does my butt look big?"  "Oh, no honey.  It's perfect."  Or the infamous  "Honey, is my penis small?"  "No, baby, it's just the right size."  It could be about silly things, or serious matters.  Everyone lies.

4)  There's always someone who has it worse.
Maybe you just caught your wife red handed in a black tie affair.  It happens right?  Well, just take that man's drink and tell them you don't care because you've got friends lower than where you're at.  There's a lot of things that could be worse than this.  Get over it.  but, when your friends come to you for support, don't be that douche that looks at them and says, "Sounds like life to me, get over it."

5)  If you play the song backwards, everything is good again.
Feeling down?  Lost everything?  Well, just play that country song backwards!  You get everything back and it's all hunky dorey again!!  Your dog, house, car, and wife that left are back and it's all okay.  Not a care in the world.  That's an easy fix!  Why hasn't anyone thought about this before?  Next time something goes wrong for me, I'm just gonna play a country song backwards and get it all back.

Playlist
1) Pretty much any country song...
2) Pick up Man - Joe Diffie
3) Girls Lie Too - Terri Clark
4) Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
5) Backwards - Rascal Flatts